by Wilye

Everywhere is twilight. O'clock on digital alarm show 6:00. I am sitting on bed, thinking and watching my boyfriend. Again I couldn’t fall asleep. I am recollection on theatre and S Club 7, on season of my life, where I am experience so many beautiful, but also bad. And I am thinking of mine first dramatic starts. The theatre is for me all. I love this job. And I love my friends from theatre. Especially Sheridan. She is my best girl-friend. And Neil and Paul, two oldest boys than me and Sheridan. We all four we are splendid company. Often we were together at party and spend our free time. I and Neil we were very close friends ehm not only friends. He was my boyfriend. He is fine boy, clever, gorgeous and ... I loved him, but as well as any other relation it didn’t keep so long time. Sheridan ...  she so crazy, but good actress and very good friend. She begun go out with Neil several months after we’re split up. They are delightful couple. They are often tease and quarrel but it’s only gag. Also there is Paul. Paul is so clever and beloved boy. He love music, beer and girls. Oh Paul and girls. He is admirer girls. They are my best friend in my life, who for me signified maybe most of all people which I know.

Then Me and Paul we were  accepted to new music band and we spend a lot of time together. Others in the band are really nice girls and handsome boys. There are Jo so talented girl and beautiful Teeny, she is a model and Rachel, expert on fashion and shopping. Ahh and we have two boys except Paul, Jon and Bradley. Bradley is admirer as Paul they are really good friends. Jon is a little other than Bradley and Paul. He is so gentle and nice and sensitive. He and Paul are my best friend best listeners. I love him. We spend a lot of time together.  Because Jon and I love theatre we frequent walk together to the theatre.  We spend a lot of time together. Because ... We are actors, maybe this is the reason *laugh*.

I look at left side room and smile. I want stroke up his face. He is fall asleep as a baby. I like watch him. His lips a little opening into lucky smile and his hair which in the day-time troublesome rumpling. His body, so strong and masculine  below duvets.

I would like all hours sitting and watching him when he sleep. I love him so much. Fabulously much, though it is crazy. How long I am doing it ? Oh I don’t know maybe since the accident ..... the accident .... I don’t know ....

It is love. It is love and this love – my darling – is fall asleep next me. I like spend every day with him. These days spend so fast at the same time so slowly they are so beautiful and at the same time so usual. Of course, it wasn’t  always ! But now I know that I can tell him anything and he will help me. He is my best friend and at the same time biggest enemy. I never regret my decision. The accident help me realize how much I love him and want him close to me. Only, may be ...

“Honey?” He said with close eyes

“Yeah, Love ? Morning !” I say with smile and kiss him on cheek

“Morning? Oh God” He look at alarm clock “It’s six It isn’t morning it’s midnight ... and I am wake up ! God ! You can’t fall asleep again !!! he say me reproachfully.

“Oh no, I am wake up a few minutes ago” I lies. But he recognize it.

“Again you are all night sitting and watching me, how I am awful!”  he is angry with smile.

“Shut up! You are handsome my sweetheart when you sleep. You are angel! “ I protest. He laugh and then pull down me to himself and kiss me.

“Ach Hun!”

I stand up and go to bathroom. My stomach isn’t good and I am hungry .... not I am starving!

“Sweet where are you going?”

“Bathroom” .... “I am going to dress up I’ll be there in a minute”

“OK”

After a few minutes

“I am going to make a breakfast. Do you want a cup of coffee?“

 

“Hun Why are you sad? Are you thinking ?” she didn’t response “Yeah I would like coffee”

 

I look at him really unhappy then sit next him on edge of bed.

 

“Sweet you know That I love him ... he is ... he was ...”

 

I start cry

 

“Honey shhh it’ll be OK” he wrap his arms around me

 

“I know” I whisper “but why ... why he had to die? Why he?”

 

“He was our best friend and now he is  dead”

 

He look at me with his brown eyes and “Honey yeah we lost best friend but we must live and we will live ... live together and ever ... “

 

He put his head on my shoulder and kiss mine cheek

 

Ring Ring Ring

 

Phone interrupt silence

 

“Hallo” he said

 

“Hello” in phone

 

“Bradley mate How are you?”

 

“Fantastic, thanks Hey Do you want go to party tonight?”

 

“Thanx but we have plan tonight”

 

“OK have a good time, bye”

 

“Bye Brad”

 

“SweetHearth what we will do tonight?”

 

“Don’t you wonder!”

 

“Hey what you kept secret?”

 

“Nothing I only want to go to restaurant tonight with one beautiful  blond girl”

 

“Really ... but I don’t know ... “

 

“... you don’t know what ... “

 

“... I mean ... I think of the accident ...”

 

“... Honey!”

 

“I know, I know ... sorry, but ...”

 

“what, honey you ...”

 

I turn round and go to cupboard where are  photos, on left me with Jon and Paul, next S Club 7 and me with Sheridan, Neil and Paul ...

 

Tear drop fall down from my cheek ...

 

My days since the accident is awful I hate it but ... I remember all ...

 

CRASH, SQUEAL, GLASS, CRYING, LAMENT ... BLOOD ... BLOOD ... BLOOOD ...

 

...

 

...

 

Later this day

 

“Hannah come on”

 

“I am coming”

 

“You are beautiful”

 

“Thanx ... I love you ... “ I kiss him on cheek “ Let’s go”

 

We get in the car and drive to restaurant.

 

“Good evening”

 

“Good evening we have reserved” ....

 

“Ok, please follow me ... “

 

Fantastic restaurant, great food I am full ... Hannah look at me and smile. She didn’t smile this way since the accident. Since time when we lost our best friend ... She is beautiful and I love her I love her so much ...

 

I take out from pocket small red velvet box. Everywhere is gloom only in the centre of table shining candle.

 

I look at Hannah and hang together our hands.

 

“Are you marry me?”

 

She look puzzled but happy ...

 

a minute of silence ...

 

then she whispered ...

 

“ Yeah ... yeah Pauly I’d like marry you ...”

 

...